Today’s entry starts with an apology.
Yesterday the Internet connection was lost half way through a game and I was forced to call
Virgin customer services. It transpired there was nothing wrong with connection or indeed the service. Mother-in-law forgot
to pay the bill last month. Moreover, the person I eventually spoke to was very helpful and solved the problem within minutes
after my credit card took a pounding. However, their voicemail system is still a pile of poo.
So, I’m back on the Internet and ready to strike terror into the hearts of unsuspecting
poker players across the world; or at the very least give them a laugh with my unbelievably crap play.
The day got off to a good start with more of the decorating being completed, so I took a break
and watched TV for a while. As I’m a lazy swine, this brief respite was elongated into several hours and a few beers
were consumed. Beer and television is a relaxation technique I’ve been practicing for a while now and I think with a
few more years training I might perfect it.
It beats the shit out of yoga.
With the television blearing out I didn’t hear the wife come home and I’m embarrassed
to report she caught me watching something I shouldn’t have been.
‘Sesame Street’.
It wasn’t really the programme that upset her but the fact that I was joining in with a song and dance about
the number ‘seven’ when she wandered in. I tried to justify my actions by explaining not only was it educational
and sophisticated but also that Count Von Count is very cool. Mrs. Snowman countered that it was only educational if I was
five years old and I was therefore being childish. She informed me I was an embarrassment to both her, and the world in general.
I would say that the wife doesn’t understand me, but the truth is that she knows me far too well. I’m only
surprised she hasn’t got used to this sort of behaviour by now. I got the same reaction when last year I trimmed my
goatee into a seperate moustache and chin beard that looked like “The Laughing Cavalier”. Mrs. Snowman hated it
with a vengeance and told me to sort it out; so I did.
I dyed it blue.
The following two days were the quietist of my life as she refused to speak to me.
I have discovered my position in the aborted freeroll. I was expecting to be placed about 100th or so. I
came 28th! I know this because one of my fellow Friday night players (Paul) told me. $1.17 has been added to the
bank and I feel I’m doing ok. It shouldn’t be too long before I’m able to compete in some of the cash tournaments
where I can mess things up with a higher degree of panache.
One last point before signing off: If any of you guys get caught watching inappropriate things on television, make
sure it’s good old fashioned, healthy pornography. It’s far less embarrassing getting caught staring at a porn
actress banging away like a shithouse door in a hurricane than it is watching a large yellow bird counting to ten.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $2.22
