Diary of an Online Poker Payer
Day Fifty
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Day Fifty
Day Fifty One
Day Fifty Two

    A strange day.

    Well, strange in relation to all my other days.

    It started normally enough with Mrs. Snowman digging me in the ribs and telling me to get out of bed. Much as I would have liked to actually get some sleep I decided discretion was the better part of valour and staggered to the bathroom.

    This is pretty much par for the course when the wife has a day off work. You may not think it an unreasonable request on her behalf but there is a factor that might sway your thoughts in my favour.

    Mrs. Snowman snores like a rhinoceros giving birth to triplets.

    This ensures I usually get as much as two or three hours sleep on a good night even though the wife vehemently denies her nasal passages are responsible for anything more than a quiet vibration. In reality there are times when the windows rattle.

    Things got so bad last year we came to the collective decision that specialist medical assistance was needed. As the waiting time to see a specialist in England’s farcical National Health Service could be anything up to three years (honestly), we made an appointment with a private consultant in London and were seen the following day. After a quick examination it was decided a minor operation was required to remove a chunk of excess skin from the back of her throat with a laser.

    Six days and two thousand pounds later Mrs. Snowman was several ounces lighter and blissfully unable to speak. Sadly, as her voice returned over the next few days but infuriatingly, so did the snoring. The doctors had brilliantly managed to eliminate one type of snore and replace it with a completely different one. The volume may have decreased slightly but the resonance had increased beyond belief, so, even as I write this I can still announce with my hand on my heart, I still haven’t had a complete night’s sleep since I met her.

    I’ve already written to the clinic concerned and suggested a medical procedure that is guaranteed to result in a peaceful existence:

    Cut her fucking head off.

 

    Anyway, as I was up and moving around I thought it might be a good idea to have another stab at the website.

    I spent an hour surfing the net for a free software download that would enable me to create a site and to my complete surprise found one. It was subsequently transferred to the laptop and pretty soon I was beavering away with my developing masterpiece.

    It took virtually all day and most of the night but I finally ended up with exactly what I wanted and clicked all the right buttons to transfer it to my web server.

    Result?…nothing.

    After an hour of fruitlessly trying to get my newly created site on the Internet I figure out why it won’t work.

    What the company who so helpfully offered the web creation software didn’t tell you is that you have no option but to use their servers to upload the site and it won’t work anywhere else. What’s more is that their prices for hosting are almost three times as much as the one I’ve already paid for. It would have been nice if they’d explained this on the front page of their site before I (and I’m sure thousands of others) spent nearly twenty-four hours making the damn thing.

    In the same spirit I would like to offer them ten pounds a month. I promise to be diligent in sending it every four weeks. Only when they open the package will they discover that it’s ten pounds of cat shit.

 

    Something else shit happened (this is the odd part) which I feel I should share. When I opened my poker account to play the usual freeroll I noticed my account was $4 less than it was when I shut the computer down last night. One of three things has happened here; either my bankroll has been incorrectly debited by that amount, I got drunk last night and forgot I played a tournament or Mrs. Snowman has had a crafty game under my name while I was asleep. I shall get to the bottom of it and let you know my conclusions.

    I got nowhere in the two free tournaments and decided instead to go for a single table event where the top 5 get double their stake after ten rounds of blinds. I buggered up the first one and came third in the next so even after the mysterious disappearance of the funds I was still doing ok. I’ll try another couple of them tomorrow after the freerolls.

 

    Although I hadn’t been fully forgiven for my reaction to yesterday’s cat incident, the mother-in-law was back on speaking terms with me, which is something of a mixed blessing. On the one hand I’m happy that the atmosphere has thinned out but on the other I’m a little concerned that she was sharpening a kitchen knife when she started talking.

 

 

Starting bank:  $0

Current bank:  $5.26

 

 

  

c. 2007