Diary of an Online Poker Payer

Day Three
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Day Fifty Two

    Now, this is going to be a very tricky entry to write, not because I didn’t enter any freerolls today (which I didn’t) but because my wife reads it.

    I should explain.

    Every Friday evening I organise a game at my local club. It’s a nice friendly Hold’em freeze out and there are usually about 15 or 20 starters. Most of the players are friends (and I do have friends – and not just imaginary ones) with the odd new face enjoying the friendly banter and genial atmosphere.

    Tonight the wife decided to sit in.

    I was doing quite well and was chip leader at the table whilst the current Mrs. Snowman was haemorrhaging hers faster than a class of high school virgins at a vampire reunion dinner. For some unknown reason she decides to go all in with K-Q off suit and I call with A-6 of Hearts. A bullet hits the flop and I win with a single pair.

    In retrospect this was not wise.

    From a pretty, demure, bunny type creature she transforms before my eyes and becomes…her mother.

    Now, most of you have probably seen my mother-in-law; she played a velociraptor in the first Jurassic Park movie…and didn’t need to trouble the make-up department.

    The chips weren’t so much passed across the table but rather flung like an exploding hand grenade; a word or two explaining her feelings accompanied it. I can only imagine she learned that kind of language by watching Quentin Tarantino movies.

    I’ve never thought of poker as a combat sport before tonight.

    Anyway, to cut a long story short, I finished in seventh place (outside the money) and that placated her in a small way.

    Kelly emerged victorious with Paul (her husband) also finishing in the cash so in many respects it was a couples evening.

    Wife decided to adjourn to another pub with a couple of other friends as the second game started so thankfully the chips were used in a more traditional manner rather than being utilised as missiles.

    We left at 2.20am after I finished a credible third and made £30 on the evening.

    Luckily, after consuming copious amount of Jack Daniels, she was mellow enough to make the journey home a relatively pleasant affair and didn’t even complain when I put ‘Nine Inch Nails’ in the CD player.

    As I write this, I can hear the sounds of a sleeping (snoring) wife vibrating through the floorboards so at least I know I won’t be on the receiving end of a violent attack when I get to bed.

    Even so, I've hidden a variety of sharp objects from the dressing table just in case.

    The only other thing to report is that I was driving tonight so was unable to indulge in my other hobby – getting drunk, but I’ll certainly try and make up for that one over the weekend.

    There are three Ladbrokes freerolls tomorrow so normal service should be resumed. There is another point of interest and it concerns the rather nice curry we had before our evening out but I suspect that will probably feature more prominently tomorrow.

    I’ve put a roll of toilet paper in the fridge.

 

Starting bank:  $0

Current bank:  $0

 

 

  

c.2007