By the simple expedient of altering one letter it will offer everyone an insight into my current condition.

    From Snowman I shall become…Snotman.

    I don’t think yesterday’s adventure at the supermarket helped in any way and my cold seems to be getting worse by the hour. Most worrying of all however, are my nostrils.

    So far today I’ve gone through a whole box of man-sized tissues, a roll of toilet paper and half a packet of Aspirin and yet my nose continues to dribble like a dogs dick in a bitches kennel. Where does it all come from? I didn’t realise the human body could produce so much snot over such a short period of time. As soon as I clear everything out with a good hard blow, it seems to fill up again from nowhere. There may very well be a gene that senses when the nasal cavities are empty and another one that refills them.

    I therefore have a suggestion.

    There must be thousands of scientists around the World working in laboratories to discover the cures for a host of ailments so, if they can isolate these two particular genes and work on the same principle, they could then focus their attention on creating something that will truly benefit humanity…a self filling beer glass.

    Think of the possibilities.

    From a medicinal viewpoint it’s practical; it might not cure a cold but you’d be so drunk you wouldn’t care about being unwell. I can see you may think there is a basic market flaw in that it is not a consumable product, ie: once you buy one you’d never need to buy another, but think again. When I’ve had too much to drink there are times when I have trouble finding my own feet. Even now I discover bunches of keys and decomposing sweets that I thought were gone forever after drinking sessions many years ago. I’d probably get through half a dozen glasses a month.

    All I’ve got to do now is find a scientist with a mental disorder and a drink problem, Shouldn’t be too difficult.

    I didn’t bother with the freerolls today and concentrated instead on the 1c/2c tables. The maximum buy in per visit is $2 so it’s very difficult to increase my roll by a decent amount, and of course I have to ensure that I win. Easier said than done. Most of the players aren’t too bad but there are still those who consider themselves potential World champions by going all in at every available turn. As I’m trying to gradually build a bankroll this presents problems. I therefore sit out for long periods of time until the morons depart and play very tightly and make tight sensible decisions to increase my stack.

    It took three hours but I eventually make a profit after a few ups and downs. Ok, $4.50 may not be enough to retire on but in our current context it’s not too bad. The step-to the 2c/4c tables tomorrow should be interesting.

    Another dreadful illness development over the day opens the possibility of another name change but it’s probably a non-starter. I don’t think the wife would be completely happy being addressed as Mrs. Shitman.

Starting bank:  $0