I received a telephone call earlier today from one of my friends enquiring after my health.
Initially I thought this to be a heart-warming geniality from a colleague who was concerned about my illness. As it transpired
he was really making sure I’d be ok to organise the live poker game on Friday night.
But something he said has stirred my interest; it concerned sponsorship.
For some reason, this site is becoming quite popular with several thousand visitors a week
and, so far, no negative comments. He pointed out that if I mentioned specific products it could result in those products
being offered to me as gifts from grateful companies or their marketing agents.
I feel hurt that he thinks I would prostitute myself simply by writing down a few brand names.
I’d never demean myself by doing such a thing.
Budweiser, the value for money beer with that light aftertaste is now being sold at my local
pub to great acclaim from all discerning drinkers. Indeed, I may very well indulge myself with a glass of Milwaukee’s
famous refreshing beverage while I play tonight’s freeroll. I would, of course, have to check the time first to make
sure I don’t miss it and nothing would ensure I keep my appointments better than a Rolex (the new Day-Date 18ct gold
Presidential model keeps remarkably good time) but would obviously perform far better if the Internet feed was pumped through
the sensational new Panasonic 64” plasma television (colours so real you’d think you were there).
Ok, that may be a pathetic attempt to get hold of a few grand’s worth of top end luxury
goods but when I considered it from another angle, it could be far more beneficial. A wide section of society obviously read
this so why not use it to my advantage in a more practical way?
For example;
Home wanted for evil little cat. Possibly possessed by the devil. Semi house trained and able
to sharpen it’s own claws to the level of safety razor (usually on furniture). Can distribute its food around an entire
house within two minutes of the tin being opened and then manage to shit twice the volume emptied into its bowl. Ideal companion
for lonely witch or fur glove manufacturer. Part exchange considered for pack of playing cards or the DVD episode of ‘Baywatch’
where they rescue that brunette chick with the big norks.
And while I think about it;
Home wanted for evil little mother-in-law. Possibly born in Transylvania in the mid 15th
century but with a reasonable command of English. Hobbies include bats, dentistry and blood type classification. Semi house
trained but unable to cast a reflection in mirrors. Can provide own coffin. Probably best that virgins don’t apply.
Part exchange considered for anything other than another fucking cat.
It’s unlikely either of these will receive a response but they stand a higher degree
of success than the product appeal.
At least I can say I tried.
One thing I didn’t try again today was the freerolls. Once more I invested my winnings
in the 1c/2c tables and after a couple of hours made $4.39 profit. I realise that quite soon I’ll need to check out
the 2c/4c and 5c/10c tables to make any meaningful advances but for now I’ll carry on with the lowest value ones until
I get to £30 or $40. I know this target is somewhat optimistic but I’ve always been fond of setting myself unrealistic
goals. That way, when I screw up I’m less disappointed. It’s probably the same philosophy used by the England
soccer squad and OJ Simpson’s public relations advisor.
If, by any chance, such an agent is reading this, I’ve also always been particularly
fond of Ferrari’s, gold bullion, Sunseeker speedboats and the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $21.26
