I’ve had a busy day.

    Not that I did anything particularly constructive to advance the decorating in the dining room (which I didn’t) but I have been doing lots on the computer. Apart from three or four hours playing the freerolls (which I shall address later) my time has been spent obtaining all the information needed to set up a decent web site for this diary. You may consider this incredulous but you must also realise I’m worse with computers than I am with poker.

   After an hour of clicking the wrong buttons I managed to find a relevant dot com address that was still available and then typed my incorrect initials into the payment page when ordering it. Yes, I’d got my own name wrong. Luckily, I got the credit card details right so I’m hopeful the payment will still go through. I then embarked on a search for someone to host the new site. This was easier said than done. There are thousands of companies doing this and their prices ranged from the reasonable to the outrageous for what was essentially the same service. I eventually found a telephone number for a UK operation and gave them a bell. It seemed sensible to find out as much as I could prior to parting with any cash.

    The conversation went something like this:

   ME:                “Hi, I’d like to chat to someone about hosting a web site”

   IDIOT:          “No problem. If I could just I take your credit card details”

   ME:               “I don’t think you understand, Id like to get a few details from

                         someone before I even consider giving you my money”

   IDIOT:          “I still need your credit card details”

   ME:               “Well, you might get them after I get some information”

   IDIOT:          (smug laugh) “Well, I want your details before I talk to you”

   ME:               “Let me get this right, you won’t even talk to me unless I give you

 unconditional access to my bank account?”

   IDIOT:          “That’s the way it works”

   ME:               “Well I want a convertible Rolls Royce and a blow job from Scarlett

 Johannsen and I bet you a barrel of gold against a bucket of pig shit I

 stand more chance of getting that than you do of getting my business”

   IDIOT:          “So what are you telling me?”

                         Click.

    I finally found an American site with a live chat facility and their advisor was not only the antithesis of customer service but also offered me a deal at less than half the price of the UK one with twice the features. All I have to do now is build the website and get it on-line.

    I’ll tell you about that particular fuck up tomorrow.

    Today’s poker, however, was more successful – but only just.

    The $50 lunchtime freeroll ended with my coming 71^st and winning 14cents so I’m on my way again. The afternoon game didn’t last quite as long after I went all-in with an Ace flush on the first hand. Just my luck to walk into a straight flush. Oh well, if I manage to solve some more of the Internet issues I’ll try all three of the next freerolls.

    Oh, one last thing before I sign off for the day; I think the cat tried to make up for yesterday’s pantomime. While I was sat down on the sofa this afternoon it trotted over and presented me with a little gift. I’m not sure that a dead bird was top of my wish list but it was nonetheless planted at my feet. Maybe I should put it in a box, couple it with a fresh cat turd and send it off via DHL to the customer service advisor I spoke to earlier. Now that’s worth giving my credit card details for.

Starting bank:  $0.